E- Expression and more
AER is based upon the proven concept that we humans are able to release the feelings that we store in times of stress or trauma. AER takes that normal human process and accelerates it, making it a much less painful process. People using AER regularly report that they are surprised at how quickly the stored uncomfortable feeling releases, even those which have been around for many years.
Time heals all wounds, and with AER, the amount of time needed to heal an emotional wound is usually minutes instead of the days, weeks, months or years which may be needed using approaches which only reduce the pain gradually.
The E in AER stands for Expression. We take our awareness of what is inside us and we put it out to the world, expressing it clearly and concisely. We can say”I feel sadness”. Or “I feel fear”. This is not about telling a long story about the feeling or thought, nor is it about justifying, rationalizing or judging. It is about pure, simple expression.
There is something almost magical about saying out loud what we are feeling inside. In some ways, the act of expressing separates us from our experience and it starts the process of allowing that feeling to flow out. We accept that we feel or think a certain way, and we then state that fact, simply and clearly.
It can be incredibly freeing to simply state what is going on inside us, without getting into the story or trying to explain it. We notice it and we state it, as it is.
Another important concept in AER is Experiencing. Feelings are designed to be experienced fully and then released, although at times we may need some distance from the moment of their occurrence in order to do that with comfort. AER is designed to aid in tapping back into stored feelings, even those from 50+ years ago, and allowing them to finally flow out. It is like emptying an emotional battery of its charge.
Robert started by asking me a question that lead me to the feelings underneath all the anger that was on the surface. After using the AER technique for 10 minutes or so, the problem with my wife dissolved, along with a long time wound from when I was six years old.
The AER process does not involve catharsis (no banging your fists on pillows, no shouting or screaming, etc.) - it is the gentle, natural release process that is invoked and aided in quickly discharging the accumulated pain (grief, anger, sadness, fear, etc.). The aim of AER is to assist your nervous system in re-aligning itself to a more balanced state of being. This re-alignment happens best when you are not rehearsing negative emotions through exaggerated expressions of them.
Your approach to our process was confident, competent and compassionate. It was gentle while clearly directed. I refer to “our process” because, though you were leading, I felt throughout this healing that we were partners. You calmly yet firmly guided me through each step. When I resisted the full experience of my grief, you supported and encouraged me to and through that painful contact.
AER is also designed to Empower you. Learning to release your stored uncomfortable feelings is not hard. In fact, it is just like learning to ride a bicycle. The AER process itself is quite straightforward and once embraced, is easy to do anywhere you have a few minutes of time to yourself. For the majority of issues, you will be able to release them yourself, with no need to keep returning for more sessions with a Facilitator. Of course, assistance is available for issues which benefit from some accompaniment and guidance.